Big Tum: C'mon Sissy C'mon, C'mon...

"Mistress P's puffin' bout like a machine,
Dad says 'get out and mow the green!',
Sissy's protecting wicket,
Setup quite a picket,
But the obstetrician's got that killer gleam...
C'mon Sissy C'mon, C'mon,
C'mon Sissy C'mon!"

(With apologies to anyone who a) hates cricket, b) cant remember 1977 and/or Supertests, c) holds copyright.)

Sissy, you're going to keep us waiting aren't you?

All's well on the gestational front but the little girl is being a bittova diva, making us wait for her appearance while dancing up a storm in the wings. (Just like her brother. Minus the diva bit.)

We're now at 40 weeks and a few days, and have well and truly missed out on the 4:56am 07/08/2009 birthdate and hence her eternal status as some sort of chosen one that would surely have had wise men with myhr knocking at the front door.

"Sorry mate - the gold will do us just fine. Any chance the frankincense guy can put the bins out when you blokes head off?"

Mistress P now points out that a delay may indeed be a good thing, cos if little Miss is born on or after the 13th then pesky Americans and their weird propensity to put months before days wont get too confused with Sissy's birthdate.

All jokes and parental impatience aside, we've been to the scheduled post-40 weeks horse-piddle visit and the doc says everything is looking fine and dandy. According to the man in the suit:

shes "fixed in position" all ready to go (head down, bum up), still a little high but in second pregnancies that can change very quickly
the fundal height is 38 cm, which is fine; typically closer to 40 at full term but fundal length can be +-3cm (i.e., shes in the range of 37-43 cm)
heartbeat seems very good; "an olympic athlete in there" were the suited mans words... (hopefully not Marion Jones).
roughly a 3.5 kg baby by his reckoning, so a bit smaller than Master M ("you'll be happy about that mum") but still above average (~3.3 kg)

The other thing he did was book us in for an induction next Monday (17/8/2009), the rule now being 10 days (not 2 weeks) after the due date; apparently theres double the normal risk for a stillbirth after 14 days.

Oh well, at least knowing 10 days is a lot better than when, with Master M, we rocked up at the horse-piddle at 11 days overdue to be told "you aint goin' home that big lady" and we were summarily sent off for popping. Just lucky we brought a spare pair of Reg Grundies.

Of course if little Miss takes a bit of time to come out (like Master M) then she'll be born on the 18th, one day before dads b'day. (Strangely, Master M appeared one day behind mums birthday. A wag may suggest mum and dad, being good climatologists, celebrate their birthdays with a 9-month leadtime.)

It will also mean our Tattslotto numbers are eternally stuffed - they'll be (in order of birthdates for Master M/mum/Sissy/dad) 16, 17, 18 and 19. If we add in uncle Jim (15th) then, in poker terms, we get a genetic straight.

So... lets hope we go naturally before then.

As for the boy...

Well mum-to-be had a craving for a nice little marinara linguine, as you do, and hence bought some

sort of seafood mix and cooked up a pasta for the extended family.

Michael chowed down on some fish, prawns, scallops and even some gastronomically curious "extender". He was loving it. Till he picked up a little purple suckered leg.

"Hey Michael, you're eating Henry the Octopus!" cried Auntie S.

"Oh." he said.

Looked at it.
Dropped it in his bib.

"I don't like it."

Fair enough.

"The kickings driving mum-to-be to bats,
The belly weight is curving out her back,
Occasionally some runs,
Bleeding of the gums,
And feet-in-the-ribs feels more like an axe...
C'mon Sissy, C'mon C'mon,
C'mon Sissy C'mon, Cmon,
C'mon Sissy C'mon C'mon,
C'mon Sissy C'mon." **