Pandy and Andy create a baby...

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Bogan Conversion

Once again we wrote a blog post about two months ago and, cos we were procrastinating about putting up pics, never posted it. So.. sod it... we'll just post it without pics. Cast your mind back to the summery (ok, wet and mild) days of...
February 6 2011
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We have a talker.
Some may say its in the blood.

Yes, the little girl is determined to change the world one word at a time.
And the word of the moment...
"Eye-Keem".

Pop it through your babelfish and you'll discover to your horror that's toddler-speak for...
Ice-Cream.
And if we add the motions, it comes complete with lunging and pointing towards the big box of kiddies ice cream cones stashed on top of the pantry.
Seems the girl has discovered the true food of champions; honey and macademia deluxe ice cream in a cone.
She's an addict, though at least we have managed to wean her down to plain Bulla vanilla.
("If it isnt Bulla is bullsh!t..." according to her mum. No, she doesn't own the company.)

The boy on the other hand, has declared himself (and this is no bulltwang), a
"TeeVeeJunky".
I'll ask him now his favourites... Aparently they are:
DVD: Wall-e
ABCforKids: Dirtgirl.
There you go, straight from the horses north and south.
I have no idea who dirtgirl is... Sod it, I'll ask him...
"She's a high school kiddie."
What does she do?
"She dances."
Anything else?
"nup."
Who are her friends?
"Her friends are called Ken, and ummm... Scrapboy and ummm... Grubby..."
So there you have it.

We are clearly a couple of bogan parents. All we need is the fighting dog and Torana parked in the front garden and the pictires complete.
(and if i only had speech recognition software this blog could now clearly write itself.)

Speaking of dogs...
Young Mike seems to be developing a wonderful imagination, not to mention list of chat up lines.
Case in point.
There we were, dad and son only, at the Deathstar getting a haircut.
Boy sits down in the hot seat.
Attractive lady wraps the Wiggles "cape" round him (his favourite) and starts cutting hair.
Dad 'relaxes' back with his smartphone and starts on some work emails (has the world gone completely mad? No, really, has it??)
Dad's ears start to pick up a fascinating two way chat between said attractive hairsnipper and boy.
Which increasingly sounded like genuine ground-work on the lads behalf.
Dad listened in a little more as Mike went in for the kill...
Attractive snipper: "Do you have any pets?"
Boy: "We had a dog?"
AS: "What happened to it?"
Boy {sad voice}: "It died."
AS {genuine concerned voice}: "Oh thats so sad..."
Boy: "Yeah..."
She almost bent down and gave him a hug.

A dog?
What dog?
He hates dogs!
(That said, the conversation was worth the price of admission alone.)

So there we have it; ice cream diet, TV addict, chatting up chicks at Southland.
My god.
What have we done?? Print this post

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