week 25 - Rub a tum tum

We appear to have reached the stage where the belly is of such proportions that people are no longer scared to ask "Are you preggas??" for fear of insulting a recently obese person.

Rather, now they barrell up and insist on telling Mistress P all their own trials and tribulations of parenthood, and the more game ones even attempt a belly rub in some strange and clearly mistaken belief that either a) it will bring them luck, or b) they're allowed. (We're told this "rubbing" is highly correlated with forward expansion... and hence will get worse.)

As a result of this, Mistress P was just about beside herself by the end of the work Xmas do, when it seemed everyone from the director to the toot scrubber wanted to regale her with pregnancy tales and/or a game of rub-a-tum. It wasn't helped by the fact that, as she couldnt drink, she had masterminded this plan of seconding herself to bar duties so everyone had to come and say hello if they wanted to imbibe. (I kept humming that line from the Skyhooks song, "Living in the Seventies..." whenever i wandered over: I feel like a barman, who cant drink a beer... I dont think she got it.)

After a few (too many) beers everyone wanted to come over and get a bit of tummy action, so she gave up on that idea, and moseyed on over to the band for a boogie. Oh oh... seems old school feotus gestation theories are alive and well, and hence within a couple of minutes the older generation summoned enough courage to prod the Assistant Director (Management) into sidling up and asking "Should you really be dancing in your state?" (I'm surprised Mistress P didnt clock her on the spot!)

The wonderment apparently also extended to a business meeting where, Mistress P being a climatologist and all that, a visitor from the Bureau of Rural Sciences in Canberra (i.e., the guys handing out money for the drought), suddenly, mid conference, asked:
"So, is it an El Nino or La Nina??"(Spanish for Boy child or Girl child: also the names of the climatological phenomona in the tropical Pacific ocean that drives climate worldwide and our current drought)
"El Nino!" Mistress P exclaimed
BRS man: "And when will it all be over?"
Mistress P: "Oh... first week of April!"
BRS man: "Thats great!!"

At least, we think he was asking about the belly... watch out for a media release from the gummint if we're wrong.

(Note to self: Possible baby name - "Al Nino Watkins"... mmmm.... could be a winner.) Print this post