The war against terror

He's up.
He's down.
He's here.
He's there.
Lil' Mike's bloody everywhere.
(But above all he's a cheeky lil terror.)

Ay Kurumba... this is going to be tiring.

The lad has not only mastered the art of the bellyflop/butterfly propulsion method to shoot him from one end of the house to the other in no time flat, but has also mastered the art of climbing up onto his feet and clinging onto stuff.

Arguably the most impressive is his overhang rock climbing technique for getting to upright from under the coffee table. Hillary like, while partly under the table itself, he flings a hand up and onto the table-edge, and swings his body out and upright from below. I'm sure he'll have a step named after him in no time.

This is all well and good but...
Unfortunately he has not yet mastered any form of the art of getting down.

Hence once standing upright and clinging to something for a while, of course having dragged the biscuit tin/mixing bowl/full cup of water onto the floor for good measure, (or, in the case of pulling himself up on the dishwasher door, vomiting a milk feed straight into said dishwasher) he decides its time to move on.

He then realises that he cant. Cos the floor is down there and he is up here and never the twain shall meet.

Or rather, will only meet via a fall. Of which he is now doing several a day, often involving what, for an adult, would be bloody painful. (Dad knows... as he fell off his bike while clipped in - in the backyard - only yesterday, and has the bruises to prove it.)

For a kiddie though, the pain only seems momentary. And amazingly, that moment seems to be perfectly correlated with the amount of time it takes to get a cuddle from mum or dad.

Added effect can be made, if mum and dad don't leap to their feet instantly, by, rather than bellyflopping across the room in a split second, dragging yourself onto all fours and doing the slowest, most pathetic and woefully agonising looking, crawl across the room. (While sobbing and batting the eyelids.)

Yes, crawl.

Much as we thought he couldn't, he can indeed crawl perfectly well, but was saving it up for moments of dramatic effect. (Just don't tell him till he's 21 that its actually hilarious!) Personally, he prefers the flop for its speed.

(Ok, he was a little more inclined to use the crawl when we put his carpet-layer knee pads on him, which is kinda understandable as the polished floorboards are a knee killer - at least for dad when he gave Mike a hallway drag race. )

The week itself has again seen Mike partying hard. Well it is xmas after all.

There's been mothers group (where he went a bit shy and generally stuck with mum and dad) and mum's work xmas do in Batman Park, soon to be followed by the steet party (held in a park) and an early family get together.

It enough to drive a man to porridge - his new favourite food.

(Well, a blokes gotta build up those muscles for the next bout of terrorising.)


Video 1: The Hillary Step


Video 2: The (happy/what does that camera taste like?) crawl...
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